


"She loves me 3000"

by I_should_be_making_homework



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint is having a hard time, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Grief/Mourning, I have no idea what else to add, Morgan Stark is a cutie, Morgan Stark is being a five-year old, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PTSD, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Pepper is having a hard time, Stargazing, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, endgame spoilers, just some events I tink dhouldn't have been off screen, kind of, mostly canon, this stuff is kinda sad, with some headcanons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-02-16 14:20:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18693262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_should_be_making_homework/pseuds/I_should_be_making_homework
Summary: ENDGAME SPOILERSThe Avengers and their families have a lot to deal with after the battle of earth. Recovery is hard, for some harder than for others. But none of them are able to do it alone.(Peter Parker will be a part of this, as he is one of my favourite characters, but I want to keep it as canon as possible (story-line wise) until the end of phase 4, so I'm kind of focusing on the rest of the team.)





	1. Robots, Cranes And Lemonade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HUUUUUUGE ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD! 
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> LAST CHANCE TO TURN AROUND!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is my first (ever) fanfic, so please give me some tips if you have them!

It had been two months since Tony died. Since he gave up his live to save that of his family. And of trillions of others. Pepper was proud of him. If anyone had told her all those years ago that Tony Stark could be so selfless she would’ve laughed at you. A lot.

  
Pepper flipped page after page of the book she was reading. Well reading, after a page or two she forgot to look at the words printed on them. Her mind kept going over all these moments. From that final battle. More specifically, that one moment when it ended. When Tony pulled that one last surprise. “I am... Iron Man”  
Suddenly, Pepper was pulled out of her thoughts by the enthusiastic voice of her five year old daughter.

  
“Mommy look! It works!”

Morgan was holding a do-it-yourself robot for kids. She had been working on it all weekend now, and Pepper had a hard time trying to get her to take a break and eat lunch. Gosh she was so much like her father.

“It’s wonderful honey,” Pepper said as she sat down next to Morgan, to study her work a little closer.

“Will you help me paint it?”

“Now how could I say no to that? Lets look in the garage what colours we have left,” Pepper said as she lifted Morgan up.

“Fly like daddy?” Morgan asked.

“Flying like daddy it is,”

A gentle smile made its way onto Pepper’s face as she pulled her daughter onto her back.

“Ready for take-off?”

“Yes! Yes! FRIDAY make me fly!”

“On it.” The AI responded as it played a recording of the whooshing sound Tony’s suits always made.  
Tony programmed it in for Morgan’s fifth birthday, so she could fly with her dad. Without all the dangers that come with hanging in the sky in a titanium suit.  
Morgan shouted out of joy when Pepper lifted her high up in the air. Morgan lifted her little robot into the air.

“Look mom! It flies!”

Pepper smiled as she carefully stepped down the stairs of the porch, holding Morgan steadily above her head.  After having Morgan 'fly' circles around her head for a minute or two, she safely put her back down on the ground.

“I’m getting dizzy. We don’t want your beautiful robot to fall out of the sky”

Morgan chuckled. “I love you mommy,” as she wrapped her arms around Pepper’s shoulders, hugging her tight.

“hmm. I love you too sweetheart” Pepper smiled and kissed her daughter on her forehead.

“Be careful now, you don’t want to drop that masterpiece you created,” A warm and familiar voice suddenly said. Rhodes walked down the driveway towards the two.

“Uncle Rhodey!” Morgan cheered loudly as she jumped up from Pepper’s arms.

“Hey kiddo,” Rhodes said. “How you doing?”

“What’s that?” Morgan asked, pointing at the bag Rhodes was hiding behind his back.

“What? How did you see that? I was hiding it so well.”  
Morgan laughed.

“Well, now you’ve seen the bag, I might as well show you what’s in it.” Rhodey said. “If your mother agrees of course,” He said, looking at Pepper.

“Well,” Pepper ruffled through Morgan’s deep brown hair. “Why don’t we get something to drink and a snack first, and then we’ll open it.”

“M’kay...”  
___________________

“So, how are you two holding up?” Rhodey asked.  
Pepper stirred her coffee. “Morgan is having a hard time. One moment she’s playing amd cheering, and the other she’s shouting and screaming. She’s angry often, she tends to break things, when things go wrong, but she wont- she wont talk to me, and I don’t want to push her I- I don’t know what to do Rhodes...” Pepper chokes up.

“Hey, hey. You’re going to get through this okay? Morgan’s still very young. She doesn’t know how to cope with loss yet. Certainly not that of her father,” Rhodey told her. “Kids don’t mourn like we do. I know pushing her to talk about might seem scary for the both of you, but she needs to know that it’s okay to be sad,”

“I- I don’t think I’m ready for that. I can barely hold myself together Rhodey, he’s there. Every night. And every morning when I wake up he’s gone and-” Pepper burst out crying.

“It’s okay,” Rhodes squeezed her hand. “it’s okay”

Pepper looked up. “Thank you Rhodey, for- for everything.”

“I’m always there when you need me Pepper. For both of you,”

Pepper was grateful for Rhodey. But also worried. It had been two months and she wondered if he had even given himself time to grieve. He lost his best friend.

“Oh oh here she comes!” Rhodey said. Morgan came running up to the porch holding her robot up, to make him fly.

“Hey honey,” Pepper said. She quickly wiped away a tear. “So, are you going to drink that lemonade or what?”

“Only if uncle Rhodey tells me what’s in the bag,” Morgan demanded playfully.

“Seems like a good trade, what does your mom say?”

“Well I don’t have much of a choice now do I? Go on honey, open it up”

Morgan rushed towards the white, plastic next to Rhodey’s seat. She pulled out a box, wrapped in wrapping paper.

“I figured you’d like a new project,” Rhodey said, watching as Morgan carefully unwrapped her present. So. She’s one of those people. Rhodey thought, as he watched Morgan carefully pull a piece of tape of the present. Apparently Pepper had been thinking the same thing, because when their eyes met, they both almost burst out laughing.  
Morgan pulled of the last piece of tape, and carefully lifted the box from the remaining wrapping paper, only to then crumple the paper to a ball, and put it into the trash bin.

Pepper let out a snort. Yes. Perfect logic in that. Go for it honey!  
Morgan looked at her unpacked present. It was a LEGO set, with a working construction crane.

“What is it? Is it a robot? I like robots!” she cheered.

Rhodey laughed. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but it isn’t a robot. It’s a crane.”

“Like the ones that build buildings?” Morgan asked.

“Yes!” Rhodey said. “I thought you’d like it.”

“I love it! Can I go build it mommy?”

“How about we finished that robot of yours first, and then start a new project.”

Morgan climbed onto her mother’s lap. “Kay. But then we build the crane right?”

Pepper laughed. “How about we go eat some dinner. Are you eating with us Rhodey?”

“I’m afraid I can’t. Apparently Sam has something planned tonight that I am quote, ‘under no circumstances allowed to miss’” Rhodey answered.

“Another time then. Morgan, are you coming to say goodbye to Rhodey?”

Morgan got up and wrapped her arms around Rhodey. “See you uncle Rhodey!”

“See you kiddo and don’t forget to finish your robot first. Goodnight Pepper!”

Pepper and Morgan waved at Rhodey as he left. “Bye uncle Rhodey!” Morgan shouted.

“Come on,” Pepper ran her hand through Morgan’s hair. “Let’s go paint that robot of yours”  
__________

“C’mon honey, the paint will be dry by tomorrow. It’s time for bed” Pepper lifted Morgan from the ground. “Let’s go.”  After the disaster that was brushing the teeth of a hyperactive five year old, Pepper lifted Morgan onto bed. Morgan was perfectly capable of doing this herself of course, but Pepper kind of forgot about that for a moment.

 

“Mommy?” Morgan asked as Pepper was tucking her in. “Why do people feel sad”

Pepper looked up. Little Morgan was visibly trying to stop herself from crying. Pepper didn’t really know how to answer. “Its- its because sometimes people get hurt. Up here,” she brought her hand to Morgan’s chest. “And if your heart hurts, it makes you sad,”

“I feel sad,” Morgan said, tracing circles with her fingers on Pepper’s chest.

Pepper sat down on Morgan’s bed. “Come here,” she said as she lifted her daughter onto her lap, holding her tight to her chest. I hurt her so much to see her daughter like this. “That’s okay honey, I feel sad too,”

“I miss daddy,” Morgan let out in a sob. “A lot,”

“That’s okay sweetheart. I miss him too,” Pepper held Morgan even closer as she burst out crying. “It’s okay honey, it’s okay.”  
Morgan pulled herself closer to her mom, loudly sobbing. Pepper let out a sob too, holding her daughter while gently rocking front and back. “I miss him too,” Morgan looked up, with tears in her eyes. The look on her face made Pepper let out another loud sob. She pulled Morgan up, and put her daughter’s head on her shoulder.

“Can daddy see us?” Morgan asked.

“I don’t know honey. But if he can, I bet he is so, so incredibly proud of you,”

“Can he hear me too?”

“Maybe, do you want to say something to him?”

“hmhmm” Morgan acknowledged.

“Do you want to tell him now? Or do you want to tell him alone?” Pepper asked.

“Now,” Morgan answered. “I want to tell him now,”

“Okay honey, go ahead.”

“I love you daddy. And I miss you very much.” Morgan said. She looked up to her mom. “I built a robot. One just like DUM-E. It’s not very smart,” Morgan let out a shy chuckle. As she fiddled with her shirt.  “Do you think daddy likes my robot?” Morgan asked her mom.

“I think he loves it,” Pepper chuckled. “I think your dad is very, very proud of you. He will always be very very proud of you.”

“Daddy built a lot of things.”

“Yeah. He did.”

“I want to build a lot of things too. Can I build a lot of things too?”

“As long as you don’t forget to eat, you can build as many things as you want,” Pepper chuckled.

“Just like daddy?”

“Just like daddy.” Pepper laid Morgan down on her pillow. “C’mon” she said as she pulled the blankets over Morgan.

“Can you stay?”

“Sure honey,” Pepper got in bed next to her, and pulled the blankets further over the two of them. Morgan let out a small sigh.

“G’night mom,”

“Goodnight sweetheart”

Pepper was about to fall asleep as Morgan grabbed her arm. “I love you mommy,”

“I love you too,”

“Daddy too,” Morgan informed her.

“Daddy too.”

“I love him 3000,” Morgan said.  
Pepper’s mind went back to that one night moths ago. “She loves me 3000” She heard Tony’s voice say.

“She loves me 3000”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'm already working on chapter 2, which will focus on Clint! (there will be a real story line in this don't worry)


	2. Guilt, Regret, and Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cint is having a hard time, but it is even harder for him to watch his daughter having one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I upload this hours after chapter 1? yes.  
> Did I watch ThAt OnE ScEnE three times in Cam quality just to get this right? yes.  
> Did I cry non-stop whl doing that? absolutely.  
> Did I actually finish chapter 1 a week ago, and just waited ages to get it out of my drafts? Yupp.  
> Hotel? this meme is dead know isn't it?

_“Damn you,” He struggled as he tried to hold on tighter and tighter to Natasha’s hands. It felt like all his muscles were ripped apart, as it became harder and harder to keep her close. He couldn’t lift her up. He couldn’t._

_“Let me go,” Nat’s small, soft voice was a big contrast against the rough, cold winds cutting through his skin. He didn’t want to. He couldn’t. He could not lose her. It was supposed to be him. He deserved this. Not her._  
  
_“No,” He struggled to get the words from his lips. He felt the tears coming to his eyes. He knew he couldn’t save her. He knew no matter what he would try she would die. But he didn’t want her to. He couldn’t live without her._

 _“Please no,” Nat’s soft gaze pierced through his eyes. She had made peace. With the red in her ledger. She knew this was the only way to save everyone. The only way to wipe it out._  
  
_“It’s okay,” The small whisper Nat let out cut his way though every layer of skin, bone and muscle surrounding his heart and it made it break. Shatter, into tiny, tiny pieces. Nat’s face seemed calm, peaceful. But her teary eyes told him something else. There was a little glimpse of hidden fear behind her words. He couldn’t let go of her. Not now, not ever. He couldn’t._  
  
_“Please,” He cried out. Please don’t go, he thought. He might as well said it out loud, because Nat didn’t listen anyway. She had made up her mind. He didn’t realise what she’d done until she did it. Until Natasha put her feet to the cold stone rock he was holding onto. Until she pushed herself away from his grip, into the deep emptiness below. Her gentle smile was the last thing he would remember._  
  
_“NO!” He cried out on more time, no, don’t go. Don’t leave me. But he knew it was too late. Nat fell down, without a scream, without a cry for help. She made peace. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. Not after this. He turned away, as Nat reached the ground. He didn't want to see it. To see her die, to see the life being ripped out of her in an instant. The cold hard ground. The last thing she felt would be a cold piece of stone, as it would shatter her bones. He couldn’t look at it. He pulled himself towards the rock. When he looked back again she was so small. And so far away. Just laying there. Never to be found. He wanted to scream, but everything went white, as a bright light covered every shadow around him._  
  
_For a minute, he thought he’d dreamed it all, that she would be there right next to him, making fun of him. As she always did. But he didn’t. This was definitely real. Yet he still looked around as he got up onto his knees. The crushing weight of the memory from what felt like milliseconds ago was holding him down, he couldn't bring the strength to lift himself from the cold stone and the thin layer of water that covered it. He didn’t even notice at first he was a mile away from the rock he just hung onto. He was wet. Soaking wet. How long had he been here? How did he get here?_  
  
_He didn’t notice he was holding it. A small, oval-shaped gem. No, stone. That’s what they were called. Infinity stones. The bright, sunset like orange glow made his stomach turn more times he thought would be possible. This. A stone the size of his thumb. Nat gave her life for this. He didn’t know how to feel. He was relieved. Relieved because Mr. Red back there had spoken the truth, and she didn’t die for nothing. But she still died. And now he could do nothing but just sit there. Sobbing, regret, loss, guilt, pain. It should’ve been him. It should have been him. He thought as he nearly choked on his tears, and the sound of his sobbing drowned out every other noise around him._  
  
_He hadn’t even realised what he was doing as he suited up to go home. He had no idea how much time he spent sitting there. Minutes, hours, days, maybe? It wouldn’t matter. When he got back it would be no more than he few seconds since he left. Nothing would be different. Except for that one, very significant thing. Her. She wouldn’t be there. The cold and heavy memory of her pulling herself from his hands played over and over again in his head. It should have been him._

_“Did we get ‘em all?” He had no idea who said it._

_“Are you telling me this actually worked?” Another voice. He didn’t care who it was, he couldn’t hold himself up any longer. He couldn’t bring the words to his lips either. He just sat there. Again the passage of time didn’t really bother him. Though it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds since he’d fell to his knees he realised, when the first voice spoke again._

_“Clint where’s Nat?” Gone. He wanted to say. No he didn’t. He didn’t want to say it. She’ll be there? No, he knew she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t come back. He wanted to say so much and so little but it didn’t matter anyway because not a word had to leave his lips for everyone to understand. He looked up met the eyes that belonged to the person he heard speak first. It was Banner. It didn’t matter to him that he didn’t recognise his voice. It had what? Seven years ago he last saw him? Nat was crushed when he disappeared. Crushed because she had no idea if he would ever make it back. But for him, for him it wasn’t a mystery to be solved. He knew exactly what happened, when it happened and how it happened. And the memories of it played over and over in his head. He didn’t react the slightest when Banner’s green fists met the platform._  
_________

Clint tossed around the whole night. It’s a wonder he hasn’t woken himself up yet. Laura gently put her hand on his shoulder. Clint muttered a few words, tossed around wildly one more time, and then proceeded to sleep calmly. Laura didn’t understand the words Clint said at that moment, but she knew exactly what they were. He repeated them every night.  
  
No one had really been the same since the battle at the compound. It had been mere seconds since she disappeared holding Nate’s ketchup covered hotdog in her hand, when she reappeared in front of her abandoned-looking house five years later. In the moment, she didn’t realise what had happened. It wasn’t until she didn’t see Clint and checked her phone when she noticed the date. And panicked and called Clint. She remembered the broken voice he had picked up with clearly. Just as the loud crashing sound mere seconds later.

Only a few hours had passed, when Clint let out a small gasp again and then violently woke up, as he almost threw himself in the air. Where was he? Right, bedroom. Safe. He gasped for air and dropped back on his pillow again. Laura had wrapped her arms around him.

“You're okay,”

“I'm sorry, did I wake you up again?”

“Nah, I woke up a few minutes ago,” Laura lied.

“I'm sorry,” Clint apologised again.

“You really shouldn't be apologising, remember-”

“Yeah, yeah, listen to the therapist,” Clint sat up. Slowly this time. Though it still felt like the bed was just a tiny layer of feathers he could fall through any moment. “She's always there,” He said. “But I'm never strong enough to-" words. Ugh he hated them. Every time something remotely serious was supposed to come from his mouth he shut down. Wonderful. “It's my fault,”

“No. It isn't.” Laura put her arm around him, as Clint let his head rest on her shoulder, letting out another small sob. “The more you want to blame yourself, the more reasons you will find to do it. We all miss her Clint. Nobody blames you.”

“I do,”

“You shouldn’t.”

“I know, but-”

“No,” Laura softly interrupted him. “There is no but. There is absolutely no reason to blame yourself,” She gently kissed him on his head. “How about we get some breakfast?”

“Sounds good,”

____________

Not much later the two them were in the kitchen, baking something that vaguely resembled pancakes. Two people stirring pancake batter at the same time, using the same spoon might not be the best way to handle the task at hand though, since said batter could be found everywhere but in the bowl.

“Pancakes!” Nate came running down the stairs. “Can I have one?”

“Sure thing bud, if we actually have enough batter left to make one,” Clint answered.

“Oh I’m sure we can make at least what? Six?” Laura chuckled. “They’ll be done in a minute. Why don’t you get your brother and sister. I bet they want some too,”

“Okay!” Nate ran up stairs with at least twice the speed as he’d come down with.

Clint smiled as Laura managed to bake just enough pancakes to get everyone a reasonable breakfast. He kissed Laura on her cheek. “Love you,”

“Love you too,” She said.

Clint looked at the picture standing on the cupboard behind her. Nat smiled at him. He didn’t remember when the picture was taken, but it must’ve been before the Avengers even became a thing, judging by the Shield logo on the wall in the background. ‘Aunt Nat’ was carved into the thin wooden frame.  
  
“So does she,” Laura said, pulling him from his thoughts.

“So... how are the pancakes coming along?” Cooper came into the kitchen, with Nate pushing him forward behind his back.

“Just walk faster, I want to eat,”

“They’ll be done in a second,” Laura laughed. “Is your sister coming too?”

“I’m here,” Lila jumped from the stairs, nearly tripping over her own feet as she landed.

Out of the three, Lila probably had the hardest time processing Nat’s death. The two of them were quite close. She cried for hours when Clint told her she couldn’t come visit while he was on house arrest. Not that she never came of course, but not as much as she used to. Clint could remember the very moment he told her. She already knew about Tony. The news about his death spreaded like a wildfire. The internet was all over it before he even came home. Lila ad Cooper had basically thrown themselves into his arms, followed by Nate and Laura. They just stood there, crying. When they got inside that one question was asked. Laura had wrapped her arms around him.

_“We- we saw it on the news. Clint I’m so sorry,”_

_“How are the others? Is aunt Nat okay?” Lila asked._

_Clint swallowed all the sobs that he’d been hiding. How do you tell a child that someone they love is never coming back? How do break their hearts just moments after you just came together again?_

_“Honey I- c’mon. Let’s sit down for a moment.” He met Laura’s eyes. She knew exactly what was going on. And he hadn’t said a word. “Uhmm-” He didn’t know where to start. He didn’t want to see the joy of those few seconds ago fade from her eyes._

_“Dad?” Lila looked him in the eye. Laura had lifted Nate up into her arms ad Cooper had sat down next to him and Lila. “Dad, she died. Didn’t she,” Lila could barely get the words from her lips, as she felt her face getting wet from the tears that were streaming down her face. Clint wrapped his arms around her._

_“I’m so sorry,” He said. Cooper stood up and ran outside. Nate, who didn’t really know what was going on, hid behind his mother’s head, scared by the sudden change of the mood around him. “I’m so, so sorry,” Clint sobbed again._

And then they just sat there, crying for hours. Clint thanked whatever other gods were out there that she never asked how Nat died. Because he didn’t know if he could ever get those words from his mouth.

“So, did we do a good job on those pancakes?” Laura’s sweet voice brought Clint back to earth again.

“The’re Dewiswous!” Nate cheered, as he stuffed the last few bites into his mouth.

“They’re great mom!” Cooper said.

“hmmhmm, same here,” Lila added. Though she barely finished her first one, and the other two were laying on her dish untouched. Clint looked at Laura, could you-? As if she had read his mind she got up.

“Hey guys! How about we go play outside for a minute?” Nate ran out like his life depended on it, and Cooper followed him after he received Laura’s well known, you know what I mean faces.

“Thank you” Clint mouthed.

“Did I do something? Whatever it is I’m quite sure it was Cooper,” Lila said.

“What? No, you did nothing wrong. Although I must agree that your brother might be involved in more mischief than your mom and I are aware of,”

Lila chuckled, and continued playing with her food. “So it’s about aunt Nat then, isn’t it?” She said a few seconds later.

“Yes,”

“I don’t want to know how it happened, if that’s what you want to tell me,”

“That’s fine. If you ever do have questions about what happened, or if you just want to talk in general I’m always here for you, you know that?”

“Okay,” Lila said as she finally decided to actually take another bite. Clint looked at her in silence. “Did it hurt?”

“What?”

“When- when she died. Was she in pain?”

Clint thought back to the last second before she died. _He turned away, as Nat reached the ground. He didn't want to see it. To see her die, to see the life being ripped out of her in an instant. The cold hard ground. The last thing she felt would be a cold piece of stone, as it would shatter her bones._ “I- maybe,” he decided. “But just for a second,”

“I miss her,” Lila said. 

“We all do,"

"She kept all my drawings," Lila said. Rhodey had found all the drawings Lila, Cooper and Nate made for her in her storage box at the quinjet when he and Banner were clearing out her personal belongings.

"I know. She loved it when you made those for her," Clint said. "She even had a few of them framed in her office,"

“Can we talk about something else?”

“Sure thing kiddo, are you going to finish those?” Clint pointed at the untouched pancakes at Lila’s plate.

“Nah I’m not hungry anymore. You?”

That’s when Clint realised he hadn’t even touched his fork. “Well I’m not going to disappoint your mother,” he said as he managed to shove an entire pancake in his mouth. “Fwhait fwor it....” he proceeded to work it down his throat. “Here we go!” he said after he swallowed it. Lila laughed. Clint laughed too. “How about we check up on your brothers? Make sure they don’t ruin this whole ‘life in the jungle’ thing I got going on behind the barn."

“Sure thing!” Lila chuckled.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!!! Feel free to give me tips if you have them!
> 
> I just read the whole thing again ad this chapter is So Long? Like, I was not aware that I am capable of writing more than 2000 words?


	3. Memories, Loss And Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda has a hard time not falling back into daydreams of old memories. Some are too important to lose. Others just won't go away no matter how hard she tries to make them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any tips or ideas for this fic feel free to tell me! Comments are verry appreciated!

Wanda ran her fingers over the back of her neck. Memories she wanted to forget came to her mind as she moved her finger back and forth across a small scar just above her shoulder. Memories of when she lost her parents, memories of when she lost her brother, memories of when she lost Vision, memories of when she felt like she had lost herself. What the scar itself was caused by was a problem she hadn’t solved yet, but that didn’t really bother her. It’s there anyway, she thought. She had considered going back through her memories to find out, but she decided she didn’t really need to relive certain experiences. Not that she never did. Her memories always found their way into her dreams turning them into nightmares she couldn’t wake up from.Wanda looked in the mirror as she tied her hair back. Just above her shoulder, where her neck began, was a small burn scar. If you weren’t looking for it you wouldn’t see it, but Wanda was. She knew exactly where it came from. She could still feel the cold metal pressing to her neck sometimes. The raft was one of the places her mind tended to wander of to at night. Or day, for that matter. Ross gave her a warning shock after she first arrived. She had just came back to consciousness when a guard secured her straightjacket. “Just in case you decide to try anything,” he’d warned her, “This is what happens if you do.” She screamed it out for several minutes even after it stopped. She wanted to rip that thing from her neck every second she was there. Not that she ever got the chance to. How long she had been there until Steve came to break them out, was a mystery to her. She had considered going back through her memories to find out, but she decided she didn’t really need to relive certain experiences. Not that she never did. Her memories always found their way into her dreams turning them into nightmares she couldn’t wake up from. 

Apart from Clint, there weren’t any people left in her life she felt safe enough with to talk to about what she saw. And what she did. Vision died, even that girl—What was her name?—Shuri, couldn’t save him. Broken beyond repair. Like a machine. Which, technically he was, but neither of them really thought of him that way. He had a heart and soul, after all.

Pietro was all she had for years. They’d never really been apart. Even though it had been years after she lost him, she still noticed his absence in the little things. His terrible jokes in the middle of completely inappropriate moments for instance. He made sure that the last damn thing he said was a joke. She couldn’t completely control her powers yet at the time, and Pietro’s thoughts that second just kind of, popped up. Which was weird, since they were at least a mile away from each other.

Natasha always understood her. They didn’t talk much, but out of all of them she was the only one that could relate to parts of her history. The guilt she felt, the regret. She felt guilty for all those people that had died by her hands. Before and after Hydra. She knew Nat died at peace. She knew Nat smiled in the last moment before she died. “It’s okay,” Those were her last words. Clint had told her that it was his fault, that it should’ve been him. No one should have had to die. “It wasn’t your fault,” She’d replied. Clint didn’t believe her. He asked her to read his mind. To prove him wrong. He thought she couldn’t. He was wrong. The only one to blame for her death was Thanos. Not that her proving him it wasn’t his fault did him any good. She should’ve known. Clint is very good at blaming himself for absolutely everything. Whether he was there to prevent it or not.

Every now and then a memory would make it’s way to the top of her mind out of nowhere, sometimes she’d fight it, stop her mind from breaking her down. Sometimes she didn’t. This was one of those times.

_“You could never hurt me. I just... feel you”_

_And with the blink of an eye Vision was gone, but then he came back. And then he was gone again. So was she, seconds later. For five years. It felt more like five seconds to her though._

Wanda’s hands were glowing bright red. So were her eyes, and every other part of her body for that matter. She could feel the energy flowing through her body. But she wouldn’t let it get further than that. When she first got her powers she’d suppress her emotions, so they wouldn’t make everything around her explode. Most people know that is far from the healthiest thing to do, and Wanda realised that same thing later, when Nat advised her to control her powers instead. To let her emotions out, but control what it could result in. That was when she felt what she had been holding in all that time. She never realised how heavy a burden feelings could be to carry until she stopped carrying them, but let them flow around in the air around her. It was like throwing out the trash. Only said trash consists of trauma, grief and guilt.

Vision’s death was one she dreamt about a lot. His death was what made her break. When Thanos snapped her fingers she could feel it. Not pain, but something was different. It was a feeling she’d never felt before. She wasn't sure whether it was the soul stone or something else, all she wanted was to give in. To just, let it go. As soon as she had turned to dust she back again. It felt lie she had been gone for seconds. Turns out it was a whole lot more than that.

Looking Thanos in the eye for a second time was probably the hardest thing she had to do when she came back. He had no idea who she was. Not that she cared. He took _everything_. It was the first time in years she let her powers take her over like that. The last time was in Sokovia, fighting Ultron. This time was different though. It was much more, intense. She hadn’t even realised that her eyes had started to glow. That was also new by the way, and slightly scary, she had to admit. Everything after that was blurry. Not because she was injured or anything, she just didn’t _want_ to remember. The first clear memory she had after that was seeing Cap just standing there. And then Stark on the ground, and then it was all a blur again. So were most of the days after. She couldn’t handle all the input around her. Usually she had to intentionally use her powers to read, or feel minds. But this time the emotions around her were strong. Much stronger than she was used to.  
_________

“I miss you, you know.” Wanda put her hand on the gravestone in front of her. _Pietro Maximoff_ was the name that was engraved in it. “I wish you could be here now,” She continued. “A damn joke,” she chuckled, holding back the tears forming in her eyes. “You wonderful idiot,”

_“You know I am twelve minutes older than you,”_

_“Go,”_

“I don’t know what to do,” Wanda said to the air around her. “Where do I go? Sokovia’s gone, Vis-,” she tried to stop her lips from trembling, “Vis died, Nat too. Clint is broken, and I don’t know what I can do. If I can do anything at all,” the red came to her fingers. “No. Not now, not with you,” she said as she tried her best to pull it back. It didn’t work. Pietro’s stone started to glow bright red. Slightly shocked Wanda pulled her hand back. A crack had made its way through the grey stone. Wanda stepped back, and started to cry.

As the tears streamed down her face, she looked around. Not far from the graveyard, she could see the ruins of the city she once called home. Pieces of the town, just laying there. Closer to where the farmlands used to begin, a new town had taken its place. There was still lots of construction going on. Stark had helped funding it. He’d personally helped rebuilding some parts too. It had been almost seven years since she set foot in her birthplace, she was there when the renovations first started, and for Pietro’s funeral, but other than that, she never went back. She had considered visiting it, with Vision, but they never had the chance to. Wanda calmed her mind. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I love you.”

She had about an hour left until Doctor Strange would pick her up again. He offered to bring her here, after Sam had introduced them a few weeks ago. She liked discussing her powers with him. Strange had given her some very useful tips too. His powers were very impressive. Especially the way he could control them so absolutely flawlessly even when under pressure.

Wanda walked down the path towards the city. Some of the old parts were still standing, with the new city right behind them. At the new market, the anti-Stark propaganda was replaced with a memorial. Dozens of names were carved in a white stone. She ran her hand over the wall, looking for Pietro. There it was, almost in the exact middle.

“He saved my life, that day.” A voice behind her said, in perfect Sokovian. Wanda turned around. A boy—or man, she wasn't sure—pointed at Pietro’s name. “He jumped in front of those robots like it was nothing,” he continued. “He must've known, that he could not possibly survive taking that much fire, yet he still did it.” The boy—he couldn't be much older than eighteen, she thought—shrugged. “Did you know him?”

Wanda let her head fill with memories. Of Pietro and her copying each other’s homework, as kids. Of him joking around each year on their birthday, about how she had to wait twelve minutes until she could blow out her candles. He loved telling her how much older than her he was. In many ways he was her older brother. But when it comes to common sense she was definitely older. Pietro wasn’t that good at thinking before taking action. She didn’t really like jumping into something without a clear plan. It was unorganized of him. And also kind of stupid. But somehow Pietro always managed to make something out of it. He never hesitated to help someone in need. The consequences his actions might have to him weren’t important. Saving a kid was.

“Yeah,” Wanda answered in Sokovian. “Yeah I did,” She smiled. “He was pretty awesome.”

Wanda smiled and walked around the marketplace. It was much more crowded than it used to be, there were stalls placed all around her. Most were your average farmers selling their harvest. She stood still in front of a stall filled with woodwork. Picture frames, toys, decorations. When they were younger, Pietro and her would beg their parents if they could have one every time they walked past the stall. An older woman sold them at the time, she made them herself. Now there was a man standing behind the stall. _Her son, maybe?_ Wanda thought. She checked her watch. Ten minutes left. Wanda decided to buy a small wooden bird, and made her way back to a less crowded part of town. When she reached the path that lead to the graveyard a golden circle appeared in front of her.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, thank you,” Wanda said as she stepped through, back into New York.

“Anytime,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	4. Past, Present And Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Bucky decide to try and help Clint out a bit, since he obviously needs it. Rhodey decides to help them by planning something Clint had asked him about earlier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I need this.
> 
> Also, 319 hits?!?!?!!? like, that is a lot??? I was like, hoping for maybe around 100 by chapter 4???? so, thank you?!?!?!?

Clint had been standing in the hallway by Rhodes' office for a few minutes now. He wanted to go in, but he wasn't sure if he should. He and Rhodes', well it's been a while. Like, a five year while since they had a proper conversation. Rhodes followed him for a while. Clint was never sure whether he wanted to be found, or if he wanted to keep running. Rhodes always came close, but he made sure he was gone before he could be found. It made him paranoid, and it pissed Rhodes off. Which is exactly why he was hesitating. The last few months they've only seen each other for work (work being a time heist followed by a battle in the remains of their blown-up compound,) and at Tony's funeral. Would Rhodes even want to help him?

Clint wanted to ask him if he could help him. Nat never got anything remotely close to a funeral. She wouldn't have wanted anything big, just with her family and close friends. Clint had no idea how to organize it in such a way that it wouldn't become som big happening with the press all over it. Nat wouldn't want to be remembered as the Black Widow, but as herself.  
  
"Rhodes. Can you help me with something?" Clint said as he finaly decided to just step into the room.

"Sure, what is it?"

"I- uh, we never really properly, buried, Nat." Clint hesitated before he continued speaking. "I know, I'm probably the last person you want in your office right now, after what I uh- after you had to track me down so, if you don't want to-"

"No," Rhodey said. "It's fine, come in." It wasn't really fine, Rhodey had to admit. He was still kind of pissed. He looked for Clint for years. He saw what he left behind, every time he came close to him. But he couldn't just kick him out now. Not that he ever wanted to. Out of everyone on the team, he was probably the one who lost the most. Somewhere he felt sorry for him. "You want to give her a funeral?"

"Yes. I uh, the kids need the closure, and well, so do I. I was thinking about, you know keeping small. But I don't really know how to, you know keep it under the radar a little bit. Nat would've wanted to be with her friends, family, people she trusts."

"I'll help you. It's really not that hard to keep it private, as long as we don't notify any press I think we're good. Do you know where you wanna do it?"

"I don't know, probably somewhere close, I'm not sure yet. Somewhere safe."

"I'll look into it."

"Thanks, Rhodes," Clint said as he made his way out of Rhodes' office again. "I'm really sorry, by the way, about you know, everything."

Rhodey felt bad for Clint. What he did for all those years was bad, real bad, but the man lost his family. And in addition to that he lost his best friend just after he got them back. It's more than understandable that he is so broken. Rhodes had no idea what Clint told his family about what happened. He never properly told the whole team. All they know is they went to Vormir, the stone 'demanded a sacrifice,' and Nat ended up being it, and Clint feels like it should have been him. Looking back Clint did actually tell them more than he probably wanted to. Rhodes was glad Clint had his family back to lean on though. Without them, well, it could've been a whole lot worse.

"Hey Clint?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you talk to someone? About what hap- about what you're going through?"  
  
"Therapist." Clint answered. "But it's kind of an unusual situation isn't it?"

"Yeah, just uhm, so you know, if you want to talk, we're here."

"Thanks but I think I'm good for now," Clint left Rhodes' office, and walked through the light grey hallway. The government had cleared a whole building for the Avengers to use until they had a new place to go. Though there wasn't really that much left of the Avengers. Thor went to space with-what did the call themselves again?- the guardians, Bruce needed some time for himself, Cap was hanging out in NYC, being old, probably, and well, everybody has things to do, places to be, people to be with. So does Clint, and he loves his family, but he just really wants to just go train for a round with Nat. Just fight each other for a bit while making bad jokes no one else understands, or laugh at each other’s weird habits while on a mission.

Clint sat down in a little area that seemed to be a waiting area. He had no idea why, he just sat down there. He had no idea what even make him decide to come here. He let his head rest in his hands. No reason why, he just felt like doing it. A lot of his days went like that, although he promised himself not to make his kids worry. He was afraid that they wouldn't ask him for help, or advice anymore if he'd make them feel like he couldn't handle it. He wanted- he had to be there for them. He cannot afford to lose everything he just got back. Everything Nat sacrificed her life for.

"Are you okay?" Clint looked up. Bucky was standing in front of him, his face looked, worried? "You've been sitting here like that for like 30 minutes. I uh, I was kinda worried."

"I'm fine"

"You shouldn't blame yourself,"

Clint scoffed. "Yeah, you'd think I kinda got past that by now, I don't think I have gone a single day without hearing that sentence." He looked at Bucky, who sat down beside him. "I'm sorry, that was kinda rude, it's just- I can't, not blame myself."

"So, you feel like you should find a reason to blame yourself. And when you do, you find another one, and another one, and then it just goes on like that," Bucky told him. "You had no control over what happened."

"It's not Nat's death that I'm so guilty about!" Clint stated loudly. He quickly lowered his voice again when he noticed Bucky flinching. "I- I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"It's fine, Clint," Bucky told him. "Don't worry about it."

Clint sighed. "Nat's- death, was, I am feeling guilty about that. It should have been me, there's hundreds, of reasons why. I- there was absolutely no reason for her to die. I killed hundreds of people. I just went from place to place for five years and I killed where ever I went, that’s- Look what I did, for all those years, that is what I'm guilty about."

"Clint, I-"

"No, no," Clint cut him of. "Listen I know what you're going to say, but I did this by choice. You were brainwashed Barnes. You had no choice. I did. I could've helped Natasha, I could've saved people instead,"  
  
"Did you kill innocent people?"

"What?" The sudden question caught Clint by surprise. "No, I don't think- No, I didn't." He decided. "There were murderers still alive, while innocent people weren't."

"Then you shouldn't feel guilty." Bucky told him. "Killing is wrong, whether you wanted to do it or not. But it happened, you can't turn it around now anyway. Your family is alive now Clint. You deserve to be with them. They deserve to be with you."

  
"They don't know." Clint said after a short silence. "Laura only knows that I well, went rogue for a while. I want to tell them, but- They deserve to know the truth. The kids maybe not now, but I can't hide this from her." He let his head drop back into his hands. "She deserves to know."

"Then tell her, sit down, and tell her. Hiding it will only make it worse for the both of you."

"I don't think it'll be that easy."

"No, it won't be, but it's better then telling her when it's too late." Bucky told him. The last few years I have been living proof that never telling, and just trying to forget is never the best option. No matter how much the truth might hurt."

"Thanks, Barnes" Clint said.

"No problem." Bucky answered. "Call me Bucky."

"Thanks, Bucky."  
__________________________________________________

"Rhodes is on his way," Sam told Bucky. "He should be here any minute now. They had called him to ask if he could help to do something for Pepper and Clint. It had been just over two months since the battle at the compound now, but neither of them seem to have really been at peace since then. Understandable of course, but the two of them just need a break. So, Sam and Bucky had decided they would help them. They weren't really sure how yet, but that's where Rhodey comes in.

"Do we have any idea how to handle this?" Bucky asked. He wasn’t sure whether this was something he should be part of. "I'm not even sure if it's my place to-"

"It's fine, Bucky," Sam cut him off. "They both need it, and you need a distraction. So, are you in?"

"Okay, fine." Bucky said. "You know, I'm kinda starting to wonder if the personality comes with the shield," he said jokingly.

"Shut up," Sam said."At least I'm not the one making the old people jokes. Which reallyare horrible, by the way."

"You'd think a young man like you would have a little bit more respect for his elders," Bucky said smiling.

"Yeah, Steve loves to tell me that. You know we should ask him how he did it without the internet. I mean, he must be used to it at this point, he must be glad to have it back."

Before Bucky could reply someone knocked on the door. "That's probably Rhodes. I'll go get the door," Bucky said.

"So," Rhodey said as he came in. "What was so important I had to miss a robotics class?"

"We need your help," Bucky closed the door behind him.

"With what?"

"Clint and Pepper," Bucky told him.

"Pepper is getting way too stressed, and Clint is a wreck. They need help, we're gonna find a way to give it to them," Sam explained. "You know Pepper and Clint best, so we figured we'd ask you for advice. We're don't really know what to do."

"I don't know," Rhodey admitted as he stepped into the room. "Clint did ask me if I could help him get Natasha a funeral. We uhh, we never gave her one." He continued. "I think it would give him closure. I don't think he ever really got any. I promised him I would find a place for her. But I'm honestly not sure if he could handle it right now. Although it would be wrong to wait any longer. Nat deserves a proper goodbye."

"Clint is blaming himself," Bucky said. "We talked. He's angry, and he keeps saying it should've been him," Bucky thought back to a couple days ago. He recognized himself in a lot of things Clint did. He felt sorry for him. Clint seems like he's a good guy, who never deserved to lose his family. The fact that he was so afraid of the person he became for all those years was enough proof for Bucky to trust him. He felt the exact same way.

"I don't think that feeling will go away anytime soon," Sam said. "But I know it never will if he never gets closure. A funeral seems like a good way to give it to him. For his family too."

"I'm working on finding a place, I called Laura to ask if she can help Clint figure out the other arrangements." Rhodey said. "I think it's the best thing for every one if we- you know, let her rest."

  
______________________________________

"Rhodes?" Sam walked into Rhodey's office. "Do you have a minute? I wanted to talk to you. About Natasha, and Tony."

"I found a place," Rhodes told him. "For Nat's funeral I mean, it's-"

"That's not why I'm here," Sam cut him off. "Rhodey, when is the last time you had time for yourself?"  
  
"I'm fine Sam, there's just a lot of things I have to do right now, with all these reports and-"

"I think we both know that there are a dozen of other people who can handle most of the things 'you have to do'," Sam closed the door behind himself and sat down in front of him. "You're distracting yourself."

"Sam. Really I'm fine. I appreciate what you're doing, but I really am fine."

"I'm pretty sure 'fine' means stressed and exhausted in this scenario," Sam said. "Rhodes you need to take some time off. I know that you spent like the entire week here. It's not healthy, you'll probably go crazy at some point. You can't avoid the grieving process forever."

"I'm not avoiding anything, it's just- they're everywhere Sam," Rhodes finally admitted. "Tony's face is painted on every wall, there's photos and mini-memorials on every corner, how am I supposed to move on, when there is no place where I can go without seeing him. There's not a single place where I can go and not see him, or-" Rhodey didn't know how to continue whatever he planned to say.

"It's been only about two months," Sam said. "No one moves on that fast. But you need to give yourself the time to get there. You won't if you distance yourself from everything. Which is exactly what you're doing right now."

"Then what am I supposed to do? There's people who need my help Sam."

That one had become a classic by now, things to do, places to be, no time to grieve. There hasn't been a single group session where that hasn't come up. Even the laziest people have things to do when they're faced with the one thing they don't want to have time for. "There's people who can do whatever you think you still have to do. You have to allow yourself to grieve."

"And I'll do that, after I finished up things around here. The world has gone pretty crazy Sam, I can't walk away now."

"Yes, you can, and it's exactly what you're going to do. There's agents who can monitor stuff until you're back, you have absolutely no excuses left. Clint and Laura have made all other arrangements for Natasha's funeral next week. You are going home, and give yourself some time. I'll handle whatever you have to do here if I have to, just please Rhodes, what you're doing right now, it's not healthy." Sam stood up and stacked up the files that were scattered all over Rhodey's desk. "Go home,"

"The personality really does come with the title, doesn't it?" Rhodey asked as he let Sam pull the files he was holding from his hands.

"I guess. There's a lot of people who seem to think that it does. Now, go home. I'll clean up."

"Fine," Rhodey decided. "Sam?" He asked as he was about to leave.   
  
"Yeah?"

"Thank you,"

"No problem,"

Rhodey went home and Sam cleaned up the mess that Rhodey had managed to make on his desk. On the desk was a picture of Rhodey and Tony in front the Iron Man and War Machine suits at Stark Tower. The picture was taken months before the Chitauri attacked New York. Months before the name The Avengers was ever used in public. Did he even have his wings back then? Sam cleaned up the remaining files and clutter, and made his way back home.

Rhodey was right, by the way. There was no place he could go and not see the memorials built for Tony. The thousands of missing posters had been replaced with pictures and stickers. Everywhere people had built memorials over the years for the people that vanished. Some of them were replaced with new ones, just like the one Sam was looking at. On it were the names of people who died as they came back, because they were on planes, boats or just in the wrong place at the wrong time. There were people who missed their child growing up, all their firsts, or their lasts. It was going to take a while, for life to get back to normal. Many people just found structure in their lives again. Now double that first amount had to get used to living in a different world, again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly 3000 words!!!!! I'm so proud rn!!!!  
> As always, if you have any tips and/or ideas please tell me  
> Thank you so much for reading!!!!


	5. The funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is finally getting her funeral, because she deserves one, and it should have happened on screen, but it didn't and it pissed me off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really sure how American funerals work, and Nat is kind of an unusual situation, so sorry in advance. But I hope you like it!

Clint stood in front of the mirror, fixing his tie. He and his family would leave for Natasha's funeral in twenty minutes. Outside the sun was shining, and birds were singing. Under any other circumstances he would've ran outside with the kids, go play, shoot some arrows into innocent trees, not today though. He wasn't ready. He wanted to be, but he wasn't. I was kind of hard to get used to the idea of her really being gone. It's not that he was denying it. He knew from the moment she jumped from his hands that he would never see her back. Never hear her voice again. Accepting her death however, was an entirely different thing. An impossible thing.

The world outside the bedroom window hadn't changed that much. The same trees, that had been standing there for ages, the same stars in the sky every night. The world kept on spinning without her. After two months, most people had-for as far as that was possible, given what happened-gone back to their lives. Not him. Thor went to space, Cap's old now, which was quite the surprise actually. And he hadn't really heard from Bruce in a while. He's probably in New Asgard or something like that. Or working with Rhodes? He wasn't sure. They were all coming.

When he looked up Laura was standing behind him. "Your tie is fine Clint." She put her hand on his shoulder and smiled. "I miss her too," she said. Laura's voice had this ability to immediately calm you down, and get your attention. It was one of the many things he loved about her. "She's safe now, Clint. She knows you are too."

"You know if she was alive right now, we would be drinking beers, complaining about missions, the kids would be making her drawings-" tears started to stream from his eyes. "She could've been here," he turned round and looked at Laura, while he almost choked on the words he wanted to say. "I'm not ready for this. I can't do this."

"No, but neither can I. Or the kids, or-" Laura wrapped her arms around Clint. "Nobody is ready. No one will ever be ready. But Natasha deserves a proper goodbye. She would've wanted it to be you, to be the one to give it to her." Laura let go of Clint and looked him in the eye. "You can't live the rest of your life in guilt about the past. Closure, Clint. For both of you."

"Closure," Clint acknowledged. Although, he wasn't sure if he could ever get closure. Guilt was a rather dangerous emotion to him, he was well aware of that, but he couldn't let those feelings go. No matter how selfless and heroic other people think it was of her, to sacrifice her life like that, he still thinks it should have been him. Or maybe not? He thought about his family. Would he have jumped if he knew what he would get back if he didn't? Would he have even considered it? Could he ever consider it? It's his family, but- 'nope, not going down that road again.' he thought. "I'll go check up on the kids, you get ready okay?"

Laura kissed him on the cheek. "I love you,"

"Love you too."

Clint walked down the hall to Cooper's room. Cooper was very talented when it came to pretending he's fine. Guess who he got it from. But Cooper was sitting on the ground, leaning his back to the bed, and his head between his knees, silently crying. Clint had absolutely no idea how to comfort him. He barely knew how to hold himself together. He had to be there though. He wanted to. He couldn't stand there and watch.

Clint sighed as he walked inside, and sat down on the ground next to his son. Cooper let his head rest on his father's shoulder. Still holding the picture. Clint wrapped his arm around him. "Come here bud," he said as he placed his ran his hand over Cooper's hair. "Do you want to talk?"

"No," Cooper answered. The picture he was holding was an older one. Taken a few weeks before the mission in Sokovia it seemed. Clint, Cooper, a pregnant Laura, and Natasha were smiling in front of the farm. Clint didn't remember that picture being taken. Or who took it in the first place. It was almost eight years ago after all.

"That's okay, I miss her too bud, everyone does." Clint told him. "Come here." He said as he pulled Cooper closer. "We all miss her."

________

The car ride to the funeral was painfully silent. No one really knew what to say. Lila and Cooper sat in the back, with Nate between them. Nate was asleep, and Cooper seemed to be somewhere in his own thoughts. Lila looked out the car window.

She thought back to a few years ago, when Nate was just a baby. Natasha had come to visit them at the farm, to meet him. They were all sitting in the living room.

_"Hey Nathaniel!" Natasha said as Laura placed Nate in her arms. "How are you doing?" She said as she rocked him back and forth in her arms._

_"He's doing really well," Laura answered. "He's managed to throw up on his dad twice actually,"_

_"He also cries like, a lot." Lila came sitting down next to Natasha._

_"Yeah," Cooper agreed_

_"I think he is supposed to do that honey," Natasha laughed. "I'm pretty sure you guys cried a lot too,"_

_"Oh yeah, way more than Nate. Especially you Lila, there have been several days where my only energy came from black coffee," Clint mentioned. "I think the only one who wasn't a full on alarm is Cooper,"_

_Natasha laughed. "I bet hope you're not like your dad, your parents would have to have a first aid kit with them where ever you go!" She said as she carefully rocked the little baby up and down in her arms._

_"I am not that bad!" Clint argued playfully._

_"Tell that to Dr. Cho. I think you're her most frequent patient by now," Nat reacted._

_"I think I should start to send her apology notes, you're impossible to take care off," Laura added._

_"Well thanks guys, thank you very much,"_

_"I think you're cool!" Lila cheered._

_"You see? At least someone can appreciate my work," Clint laughed._

Just a while later her dad was arrested, and Natasha had to run. They simply didn't hear from Clint for a few days. It happened a lot when he was on missions, but this time, he wasn't on a mission. He wasn't supposed to be, he just retired.

He just told them he had to go help Cap, and then returned with an ankle bracelet and a bunch of rules. He explained them what the accords were, kind of, and what happened. He would stay home for two years. No missions, no SHIELD, just home.

Clint's house arrest was about to end when they were outside that day. Just a few more days and they could have a proper family trip. Lila had been practicing archery with her dad for months. This time was the first she hit bull’s-eye on her first try though.

_"Okay, hold on, don't shoot," Clint warned Lila. "Do you see where they're going?"_

  
_"hm-hmm" Lila nodded, holding the wooden bow she got for her birthday._

  
_"Okay," Clint stood behind her. "Now let's worry about how you get there." He placed his hand on her shoulder, and carefully moved her right foot slightly to the side. "Put your foot here," He pulled Lila's shoulders back to make sure she was standing in the right position. "Okay, can you see?"_

_"Yeah,"_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Hm-hmm," Lila confirmed._

_Clint played with Lila's hair, holding it in front of her eyes. "How about now? Can you see now?" He joked. "How about now?" He held his hand in front of Lila's eyes._

_"No," Lila chuckled._

_Clint chuckled too as he tucked Lila's hair behind her ear. "All right, You ready? Three fingers."_

_Lila chuckled again._

_"Hey, you guys want may, or mustard, or both?" Laura shouted from across the field._

_Lila lowered her bow. "Who puts mayo on a hotdog?" she disgustedly asked her dad. Seriously though, mayo?_

_"Pardon your brothers," He answered. "Two mustards please! Thanks momma!" he shouted back. He then helped Lila get back into the position she was previously standing in. "Mind your elbow."_

_Lila focused, slowed her breathing, and relaxed her hand. Then, she released the arrow. Bull’s-eye! yes!_

_"Good job Hawkeye! Go get your arrow,"_

_Lila jumped up to get her arrow from the target she just hit right in the middle. Something weird happened when she pulled the arrow out. Her hand just, felt weird. Her finger just started crumbling, and before she could scream for help everything went black. Just for a few seconds. At least, that's what she thought._

The next thing she remembers is seeing the house. Just seconds ago it was bright white, the grass surrounding it perfectly taken care of. But now, the house looked, older. There were plants everywhere, the barn's roof had partly collapsed, it's like no one had been there for years.

Cooper, Nate and her mother were all there, her dad wasn't. Her mom decided to call him, but the line disconnected almost right after he picked up.

The next few hours in Lila's memory were a total mess. At some point they noticed the date, then heard about the attack at the Avengers Compound, and sometime after that her dad had come home with a quinjet. Nate had been cheering with excitement when it landed. She ran out first, followed by Cooper, Nate and her mom.

When they got inside Clint gad told them to sit down. Lila had realised pretty soon after she asked where Nat was that she wouldn't be coming back. She didn't want to know exactly how she died. It made it so permanent. Not that it wasn't anyway.

After Tony's funeral, and the worldwide celebrations she didn't exactly know how to feel. Natasha's death wasn't covered as much as Tony's, and she hadn't had a funeral either. Lila was glad she got to say goodbye now.

______

Bruce let his fingers slide over his injured arm and shoulder. His right arm, and part of his face were covered in burn scars. It took days before he could even move his shoulder without it hurting so much. He could move his arm more freely though, but the damage done was irreversible. And still quite painful too.

At the moment itself, it wasn't the burns though, that hurt so much. The pure power flowing over his body was what hurt the most. But it didn't feel like it was burning. It was pain, but differently. It was a sort of thing he never felt before. How Thanos could still use his hand to wield the stones and disappear that day was a mystery to him.

Bruce had no idea how the stones actually worked. Apart from the mind stone, he never got to examine them up close. And even then, he simply didn't know what it was. All he focused on was bringing everyone who vanished back. To make them return from whatever state they were in. Them, and Natasha. Even though before he wielded the stones he knew he couldn't bring her back, but he still wasn't able to let go of the guilt he kept holding on to. He didn't blame himself for her death, but rather for the time he never got to spend with her. They had five years of time together after he came back, but it wasn't the same. That Nat wasn't the one he left almost eight years ago. So he tried as hard as he could. But it didn't work.

Right outside the window was New York City. It had both changed and not changed at all in the last five years. The skyline was exactly the same as it had been, central park was right where it was supposed to be, physically the city never changed. It was the overall feeling that was different. There was hope, joy and positivity, but there was also the knowledge of what they lost. Many streets were decorated to celebrate, yet at the same time there were memorials on every corner. A lot of them were for Tony, some were for the people who didn't survive coming back. There were a couple of them for Natasha too.

Natasha was never one for major public attention. She got it way more than she wanted to. Especially for the last five years. She basically ran the place when it came to safety. But Bruce was happy people didn't forget her. Nat would've shrugged it of if everything she did went unnoticed. It just had to be done. But he also knew how much she needed to see that people were grateful for her. Even though she had a hard time admitting it.

The last few weeks kind of flew by. Bruce had basically locked himself in one of the labs in the building that was cleared for the avengers to use. Not many of them were there though. It was mostly him and Rhodey. Although Pepper came by a couple of times with Morgan. Which meant Rhodey spent his day trying to keep Pepper from finding ways to work more than she already did, and he got to show around Morgan. Who was very smart for a girl her age by the way. Not at all surprising considering who her parents are.

Bruce let the buttons of his shirt snap into place. Magnets were a very underrated invention. Since he couldn't really use one of his hands, and his fingers were a bit too 'hulky', the magnets were a perfect solution for all kinds of problems he would have had using buttons.

A few moments later, he and Rhodey were on their way.

Bruce was nervous the whole ride. He was stable when it came to 'hulking out', but strong emotions were the one thing that could break that. He still repeated the lullaby in his head. Natasha was the only person who could make it work though.

"She's okay," Rhodey said. "She's at peace now."

"I know, I just wish she got a chance to see what the world became because of her. She deserves to see it."

"I'm pretty sure she knows."

Bruce looked outside, up to the sky. "She better. The universe is safe because of her. We never even got to thank her."

"That's what today is for," Rhodey told Bruce. "To give her the goodbye she deserves."

_______________________

Clint felt Laura wrapping her hand calmly around his wrist as he stared at the coffin in front of them. It was empty. It shouldn't have been, but it was. Even that part of her he couldn't bring back. Clint stood still as people around him stepped forward to say their final goodbyes. It was like time slowed down for everyone but him. The moment he had realised that she really was gone kept coming back.

_For a minute, he thought he’d dreamed it all, that she would be there right next to him, making fun of him. As she always did. But he didn’t. This was definitely real. Yet he still looked around as he got up onto his knees. The crushing weight of the memory from what felt like milliseconds ago was holding him down, he couldn't bring the strength to lift himself from the cold stone and the thin layer of water that covered it._

Clint waited until most people had walked away, to the back to the graveyard, so he could be alone. So he could say goodbye. "You and the kids go ahead. I'll be there in a minute."

  
Laura kissed him on his cheek. "We'll be waiting for you," she said as she walked away.

After Laura walked away, Clint walked forward, and looked at the photo of Nat that was standing next to the coffin. It was press photo from the battle of New York back in 2012. Taken eleven years ago now. A few after the battle they had gone out for drinks, but they ender up laughing at each other in a toy store, while comparing action figures.

"Hey, Nat," Clint put his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. He wasn't exactly sure what to say next. Thank her? Apologise? There was so much he wanted to apologise for. Nat would've been pissed at him for the amount of things he blamed himself for. "Gosh I wish you could've seen the world today." He continued. "Billions of people are home again Nat. We got our families back, you- you saved us. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Clint swallowed. "I'm sorry you can't be here."

"You mustn't blame yourself. I'm sure Natasha knows we won," Thor had walked up to Clint.

"That's what everyone keeps telling me," Clint answered.

"You know, on Asgard, those who die in battle go to Valhalla. It is similar to what your people call heaven. I would be far from surprised if she and Stark are there now." Thor told him. "She's a hero. She knows."

Clint smiled. He wasn't sure whether Thor was speaking from truth or faith, but he appreciated it nonetheless. "Thank you," he told Thor. "That sounds beautiful."

"It is." Thor turned around. "We should go. The others are waiting for us."

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute." Clint said to Thor, who then nodded, and walked away.

Clint placed his hand on top of the empty coffin in front of him. "I know you told me it's okay. Maybe it is, I still think it shouldn't be. But I really wish I could say sorry, for leaving you alone all those years. Thanks to you I now have so much more than I thought I could ever have." He wiped way his tears. "Thank you," he said one more time before he turned around. "For saving us."

Clint was about to walk back to his family when Pepper walked up to him.

"It feels strange, doesn't it." she said. "Moving forward."

"Yeah," he answered. "It feels wrong.'

"It isn't. It's what they need you to do."

"I know, but still feels weird." Clint said. "How are you doing?" He asked Pepper.

"A lot of feeling strange." She answered. "But I know neither of them would have ever had a moment of piece if they hadn't done what they did." She looked at the sky. "They're resting now. And if Tony still won’t just sit down for a minute I will personally have Thor bring me to wherever they are to make sure he does.” She said smiling.

Clint wouldn't dare to even think about telling Natasha not to do something. She would personally kick him back to earth. She would never admit it, but she was even more stubborn than he ever could be. Telling her what to do and actually succeeding was not something that he had managed to do often.

Clint smiled. Closure. Maybe in a while he could finally get it. For now he was happy just remembering her though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!!  
> Comments are very welcome!


	6. You envy the stars, yet you fail to notice you shine the brightest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Tony's birthday, and Morgan celebrates it by following a tradition,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me so long!!!! I'm sorry...... It's like a month later....  
> But I hope you like it!!!  
> (Also is basically said Fuck You to my 'Canon until P4' idea so here's some Spiderson material)

Tony's birthday had always been a big day. There were always people coming over, parties, press dramas. Until Tony almost died because of his arc reactor back in 2010. After Tony's--definitely not first--near death experience, he started celebrating his birthdays in a more personal way. Usually with friends, or people he considered family.

After half the world vanished, Tony didn't celebrate his birthday again until Morgan was born. That first birthday after the snap he just couldn't even think about celebrating something. It felt wrong. And he also didn't have the energy to celebrate to begin with. He never really intended on celebrating his birthday again, but his first birthday after Morgan was born Pepper made him promise her something.

Pepper carefully walked upstairs holding a tray with the breakfast she had prepared for Tony. A little birthday surprise for him. She opened the bedroom door, and put the tray down at her side of the bed.  
  
_"Happy birthday!" Pepper said as she gently woke up Tony._

_"Hey Pep," Tony said groggily as he turned around. "Hmm you made breakfast?"_

_"Pancakes and fruit," Pepper smiled. "To get you fuelled up. Bruce, Rhodey and Happy are coming over tonight."_

_"Are we celebrating? Honey I don't really feel like-"_

_"If you don't want to, we're not going to celebrate." Pepper cut Tony off. "But today, you will allow yourself to at least relax a little. Have some fun. You haven't gone out in a year."_

_Tony sighed. "Honey, I don't- It's not fair that-"_

_"Tony," Pepper warned him. "It's your birthday. I know you feel guilty. About everything that happened, but you need to give yourself some time off. You're always working, or worrying about Morgan. Your birthday is your day off. Okay? No working, no blaming yourself, no excuses. Promise?"_

_"Okay," Tony answered. "My birthday is now officially my 'don't be an emotional wreck' day. I promise." Tony smiled back at Pepper. "How about we go eat these pancakes before Morgan wakes up,"_

And Tony kept his promise. He spent the rest of the day having fun with Pepper and Morgan, Bruce, Rhodey and Happy came over for dinner, and after they left he, Pepper and Morgan went outside to go stargazing from the pier. And that later became a tradition.

From that day forward, birthdays at the Stark residence started with pancakes and fruit for breakfast, then a whole day of having fun, dinner with friends and family, and then at the end stargazing from the pier. No 'have to's' just relaxing and having a good time.

The stargazing had always been Tony's favourite part of the day. Living farther away from the city, the night sky was more colourful and bright than he was used to. It was wonderful. One time, when the warmer temperatures decided to stay south just a little longer they had spread out blankets and pillows, and they had worn old Christmas sweaters as a joke, to keep them warm.

Morgan loved stargazing with Tony. They would stay up really late sometimes, and then spend hours looking at the stars. Morgan would ask dozens of questions about space, and the stars, and Tony would answer them. Morgan always had a special interest in space. Tony not as much as he used to have, but her enthusiasm always made up for it.

  
The first year, it was just the three of them. After that the group became bigger every year. Nebula stayed the night once, so did Rhodey, Bruce and Natasha. The group became bigger every year. Except this year. This year it became smaller.

________

 

Pepper slowly opened Morgan's bedroom door, and walked up to her bed.

"Good morning honey," Pepper woke her up by gently tapping her shoulder.

Morgan rolled over, while rubbing her eyes. "Hi mommy" A sweet grin appeared on her face.  
  
Pepper sat down on the edge of Morgan's bed. "How about we go get some breakfast huh?"

"Is it pancakes? 'Cause we always eat pancakes on daddy's birthday," Morgan asked her mom. "I read it on the calendar," Morgan admitted when Pepper gave her a pitiful smile.

"Yeah, we're having pancakes. I already baked some for us, but I could really use your help with the cake we're gonna make this afternoon."

Morgan pushed her bedsheets back, and went to sit next to her mom at the side of her bed. "Can I get the bowl after we're done?"

"You sure can honey." Pepper smiled again. "Now go get changed, I'll set the table." Pepper said as she stood up and pointed at the set of clothes neatly hanging over the chair.

Morgan slid of the bed and went to put on her clothes. Five minutes later, she an her mom were both downstairs having breakfast.

Morgan was slowly eating her pancakes. She wasn't talking much, it felt kinda weird today. Usually when people talked about her dad, they looked sad. When they were talking about him to her, they'd tell her that they were sorry, and then they would give her a sad smile. Even her mom did that sometimes. But today she was smiling, and telling her a story about how he once bought her a giant bunny for Christmas. " _It was so big, your dad had to tear down a wall to get it in the house."_ It was a bit weird. Her dad's birthdays were always happy days, but it was weird that it was a happy day even though her dad wasn't there.

"You know, we've got some guests getting over too," Pepper mentioned as an attempt to get a conversation started. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea though, the sudden mood change and all that. Pepper wasn't sure if Morgan would like it if there were people coming too. But Morgan's eyes lit up when Pepper mentioned it.

"Who?" She asked curiously. "Is it a lot of people?"

"Kinda," Pepper answered. "But not all at the same time. Is that okay?"

Morgan nodded. "Who are coming?" Morgan asked before shoving half a pancake into her mouth.

"Uncle Bruce, and Harley are coming for lunch. Happy, Uncle Rhodey, Nebula, uncle Steve, aunt May and Peter are coming for dinner." Pepper was glad she got Morgan excited a little bit. She had made sure not everybody would be there at the same time, so Morgan wouldn't be too overwhelmed.

"Awesome!" Morgan asked excitedly. "I'm gonna show them my robot!"

"I bet they'll love it," Pepper said. "You did a really nice job painting it too,"

Morgan smiled as she ate the rest of her pancake. Pepper did the same.

"You know what, why don't we prepare the cake outside. It's really warm and we're eating there anyway," Pepper suggested when they were both finished.

"Can we make it now?"

"In a minute. I'm gonna go clean up this mess first. Why don't you go play. I'll call you when we're ready."

"Okay!" Morgan jumped from her chair and ran towards the door. "Love you mommy," she said before stepping outside.

Pepper chuckled. "Love you too honey."

\---------------------------

  
"Okay, be careful, we don't want any eggshells to end up in the cake." Pepper helped Morgan to crack the egg she was holding without making a big mess. When Morgan broke it in two, Pepper was just in time to catch a part of the shell that almost fell in the batter. "Good job! Now let's do the other ones."

Morgan smiled widely while cracking egg number two. All on her own. Just like egg number three.

"You're doing great!" Pepper told her. "Now let's mix it with the rest and put it in the oven." Pepper helped Morgan mixing the other ingredients, and then they poured the batter into the cake pan.

After cleaning up the mess they had made on the pick nick table, Pepper and Morgan went inside to put the cake in the oven.

Morgan watched as her mom put the cake inside the oven, and set the timer. Thirty minutes.

Not much later Bruce and Harley arrived. While Morgan was running around the house, showing Harley everything the hologram table could do, Bruce and Pepper sat outside.

"You're a great mother." Bruce told Pepper. "It can't be easy going through this."

"Therapy is helping, so thanks for recommending that by the way," Pepper said. "I'm doing better."

Truth is, she really wasn't. She still lied wide awake at night, hoping to hear him working on something downstairs. Or sometimes she would imagine she heard him telling Morgan a bedtime story. She still stopped in her tracks sometimes, when she realised what she was doing as she put a third plate down at a seat that would never be taken by the right person again.

A few days ago, she found herself in the garage, going through stuff. She didn't know why. Somewhere she still hoped to find Tony working on a project she wasn't supposed to look at. She broke down crying when she found a box filled with designs, calculations and notes of her suit. _For Pep_ Tony had scribbled on the side of that box. Followed by a later added _So not for Morgan!_.

"We're gonna be okay," Pepper said. But more to make herself believe it than to convince Bruce.

After Bruce and Harley went back again, Pepper and Morgan spent the entire afternoon watching Disney classics. Morgan absolutely loved them especially Treasure Planet. The movie was more than four times as old as she was, but she loved it nonetheless. One time she watched it with Nebula. Every now and then she'd ask her what parts were real, and which ones were not. When Nebula told her there used to be a group of space pirates called the Ravagers she wouldn't stop talking about it all week.

After Happy arrived, he and Pepper prepared dinner, which was finished just when the doorbell rang.

  
________________

 

Peter looked from the car window as forests flashed by. He could see the remains of the compound behind them every now and then, when they drove by the thinner parts of the forest. It had taken days before they could even start cleaning it up. Because of the river.

Not that it mattered to him. It would probably just become another monument. Another thing to flinch at, trying to keep himself from breaking down on the spot. That had happened a couple of times. Sometimes, when people would ask him about being gone, and coming back he would see it all over again.

His hands were suddenly turning to dust again. His heartrate went up, his senses were off the charts, he couldn’t focus probably on the world around him. He wanted to scream, call for help, warn May, but it was like someone was holding him so tight he couldn't make a sound.

It stopped when he felt Mays hand on top of his own.

"You're safe, we're in the car." She said calmly. "You're okay, breathe."

Peter took a deep breath, and then tried to calmly let it go again. He and May had been practicing breathing techniques to calm the anxiety since before the Snap. He never needed them until after though.

"Are they getting worse again?"

"Not that much. Business as usual," Peter answered.

"But you'll tell me when they do right? I'm always here okay?"

Peter nodded.

Not much later they pulled up in the driveway of Tony's house. Being honest, it was a little bit late for dinner, as the sun was already setting.

As they walked up the porch, Pepper opened the door for them. "Come on in! You're just in time, we were about to set the table."

Peter followed May and Pepper inside. Happy, Mr. Rhodes and some old guy were already there, Nebula too.

They were all talking, and Peter decided to join them, when May left his side to help Pepper with the table. Which was filled with all kinds of food when they went to eat a few minutes later.

Sitting between May and the old guy, who-to the amusement of pretty much everyone in the room-he later learned was actually Captain America, he listened to the stories others were telling. Normally he would join in to any conversation with anybody, but listening seemed to be the least uncomfortable option at the moment.

So he listened as Steve told about missions they had together, pranks Clint and Nat had pulled on him, and the ones Tony prepared in return.

It felt kinda weird to him, hearing the stories about Tony from when he was younger. It made his death so much more permanent. Most of the stories about him doing irresponsible things and accidentally blowing up his living room on multiple occasion Tony would've never told him. Being very aware of the fact that it could and would be used against him at some point.

He silently hoped for the subject to change. It made him feel weird. Talking so joyful about a dead person. On his birthday. Also, not just a person. A mentor, teacher, father, even. In some way. It felt unnatural. He knew it wasn't. Remembering could be a good thing, he learned. A necessary thing.

Nevertheless, he was relieved when Pepper asked Morgan if she wanted to get dessert. Morgan ran to the fridge, and turned around holding several boxes filled with ice cream in different flavours. They decided to go have dessert in the living room.

As everybody got up, Pepper started to clean out the table.

"I- I'll help with that," Peter quickly offered.

"Thanks kid,"

Peter collected the dishes and started to rinse them off, until a picture on the shelf next to the sink caught his eye. He swallowed as he put a dish he was holding down, and reached for the picture. It was the picture he and Tony made to provide some evidence for his 'internship', since some classmates were teasing him about it, and reporters had gotten very curious about the random kid who happened to be in Tony Stark's presence quite a lot.

He didn't notice he started crying silently. And he certainly didn't intend to.  
  
Suddenly a hand squeezed is shoulder. "He talked about you every day." Pepper said. "You're Morgan's favourite superhero. He used to tell her bedtime stories about you. The lake is a classic."

"He did?"

"I think out of everyone we lost that day, you were the only one he could never truly let go."

Peter sniffled, then smiled.

"He's so proud of you. You took on a huge responsibility for a kid. He always admired you for that." Pepper said. "You can keep it if you want to," she offered.

"I- thank you," Peter said, still holding the picture while drying his tears.

"No problem, I'll finish up here. You go eat some ice cream,"

Peter took over the spoon Pepper was holding out for him, and thanked her again.

This time he felt much less tense listening to the others. Steve was telling a story about his life before he got the serum, after Morgan asked him how he became strong. As it turns out the man was really not as responsible as the educational videos at school wanted him to believe.

After a while, Morgan walked up to Peter. "Can I show you something cool? It's outside though."

Peter looked at Pepper, who nodded for permission, and then let Morgan lead the way outside. They walked all the way back to the pier.

"Come on," Morgan tugged his arm forward.

When they got to the pier Morgan walked all the way up to the end and sat down. Peter followed her lead and sat down next to her.

"On daddy's birthday we always stay up to watch the stars," she said, pointing at the sky.

"It's beautiful," he answered her.

"My dad always says space is huge."

"It is," Peter told her. "There's millions of planets out there. And stars, lots of stars too."

"Have seen them? From up close?"

"Once, with your dad. It was really cool." The last part was a lie, obviously. He had panick attack after panic attack that day, and himself disintegrating and then seeing his mentor die minutes later did not really ease the trauma. So he decided to leave those parts out. "We saw a lot of planets, and stars, we even met some people who weren't from earth."

"That's awesome!" Morgan cheered. "I like space. It looks really nice,"

"It does," Peter said.

The sky was reflected perfectly by the surface of the lake, the only thing keeping the stars and their reflection apart being the pine trees that surrounded the lake. Thanks to his enhanced eyesight, Peter could see the fish swimming between the stars. It looked really magical.

After a while Morgan let her head rest to Peter's side. Peter smiled as he put his arm around her.

They sat like that in silence, staring at the sky, for at least half an hour before someone walked up to them.

"Hey," it was Happy, "Pepper asked if I could bring these over. If you're gonna stay here all night you might as well get comfortable." Happy handed Peter a bunch of blankets and two pillows.

"I it okay if we stay that long?" Peter asked. "It's pretty late already."

"Don't worry about it. You can guys can stay up here as long as you want. One of us will come check up on you every now and then. Plus, Pepper invited you and May to stay the night anyway. If you want to of course,"

"Uhh, yeah, thanks,"

"No problem, just make sure you stay warm, it's getting colder soon."

As Happy went back inside, Peter and Morgan spread out the blankets. Two to lay on, and one each to stay warm. After they put the pillows down, Peter tucked Morgan on using the thickest blanket out of the two, to make sure she would stay warm enough. Then he lied down himself.

Every now and then the sky above New York City would light red and yellow. Fireworks, probably. There were probably billions of people celebrating Tony's birthday. His friends were most likely out in the city somewhere, but Peter definitely preferred laying here. There wasn't as much input as in the city. The sounds weren't as loud, there weren't lights everywhere, it was really calming.

When Morgan started to shiver a little he put his arm around her again and tucked her in a little further.

"Look! Shooting stars!" Morgan cheered. "I'm gonna make a wish. But you can't listen, because then it won't come true. So," Morgan gestured to show Peter he had to cover his ears.

"Okay," Peter said as he covered his ears.

Morgan checked to see if Peter really wasn't listening, and then looked up. "I wish, that daddy can come watch the stars with me," she whispered. Not that Peter wasn't perfectly able to hear it. "You can listen again," she said.

Peter tightly tucked Morgan in again, an wrapped his arm around her. Morgan was still looking at the sky, smiling. Peter felt a cheer rolling down his cheek.

"I'm good," he told Morgan the next time a falling star came by, after she asked him if he was going to make a wish.

Suddenly he saw Morgan disappear. He knew it wasn't real this time. /Breathe/ he told himself /breathe/. Despite his attempts to calm down again, his hands still started shaking.

"Are you okay?" Morgan asked.

Hearing her voice was apparently the confirmation his brain needed to settle down. "I'm okay. Did I scare you?"

"No, daddy gets scared too sometimes. But we're safe here."

Peter smiled. "Yeah, we are. But sometimes my brain likes to trick itself. To make me think I'm not."

"Why?"

"Uhh, I don't really know. It just happens I guess."

Morgan turned around and hugged Peter. "Then we'll make your brain feel safe."

Peter laughed. "I think it's safer already,"

Morgan yawned softly, stretching her arms. Not much later, Peter noticed she had fallen asleep. He pulled her blanket up so it covered her arms, and then looked at the sky. "I'll keep her safe." He told it. "No matter what, she'll be safe. I promise."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment if you have tips and/or ideas! Thanks for reading!!!!


End file.
